By Dylan Schaeffer
After it’s fully sold-out run in 2013, the underground theater spectacular continued it no-holds-barred performance this past weekend at its new, much larger venue at the Kelly-Strayhorn Theatre at 5941 Penn Avenue in, obviously, Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh Batman can almost be described as an imagining of Gotham’s hero if, instead, he was a foul-mouthed, low-energy Yinzer.
Lord Grunge, founder and star of the show, stated that in this production “the cultural essence of the ‘Batman’ paradigm has been assassinated, shredded, combined with Pittsburgh Power, and rebuilt.”
Lord Grunge, part of the indie-cult-rap band Grand Buffet, brings a whole new take to the caped crusader. In this year’s production, Pittsburgh Batman attempts to track down a new villain who is causing havoc around the Steel City. The take-no-BS hero teams up with his slacker roommate Dave, who fits the over-aged stoner hipster stereotype to a T, along with Andy Warhol, who faked his own death in order to “collect cool shit” and who thinks that art is “pretty neat.” Together, they plot to take down the criminally-insane and chemically-modified Youngstown Joker.
As the lights go down, the booze-soaked patrons make their way to their seats, (which, by the way, were the perfect combination of insanely comfortable and awkwardly-cramped) and immediately go silent.
Over the PA system we here a public service announcement from none other than Pittsburgh Batman himself, telling the crowd in basic Yinzer parlance not to take pictures or talk during the performance, basically saying (and I’m paraphrasing here) “Keep all your smartmouthed comments to yourselves. Yinz aren’t funny, ‘cause if you were, you’d be up here and not us.” The first, and certainly not the last, belly-laughs of the night are heard during this monologue.
Before the first scene, a leather-clad, whip-wielding Catwoman (emphasis on the “MAN” section of that word) sings about how lonely of a “Dark Night” it is while taunting the crowd with a whip. Catwoman goes into the crowd to sing to various male patrons how lonely she is, before coming to one patron and saying “Eh, well, not that lonely.” Catwoman slinks into the shadows, and the curtain goes up.
Pittsburgh Batman finds his way into a kerfuffle with the Pittsburgh Penguin and the Riddler, who are mugging a kid in an alley. After winning the battle with the prowess and attitude of a bar bouncer, Pittsburgh Batman queries the Riddler on the recent crime wave rolling across the city, knocking him out to take him back to headquarters.
The next scene opens -up to Pittsburgh Batman’s “Batcave,” which is simply the crappy apartment he shares with his bearded, slacker, hacker of a roommate Dave. Dave hacks into the Pittsburgh Police department’s computer database to help Pittsburgh Batman track down the crime boss. They go over the possibilities, citing “The Butler Loser” and “The Black Guy.”
Eventually, the Riddler can’t stand their talking anymore and is sick of “pretending to be knocked out,” so he gives up his boss’ name as the Youngstown Joker and then shoots himself in the head, leaving Pittsburgh Batman and Dave to hide the body.
In between scenes, we are treated to the Youngstown Joker sneaking out beside the stage with his Luchador-styled henchmen to scream phrases such as “Batman, WHAT’S YOUR NAME?” and “I F______ LOVE THE MOONLIGHT!” before slinking back into the shadows.
Eventually, we are led to the Warhol Museum, where Bruce Wayne and Dave meet up with former mayor Luke Ravenstahl (represented as a very short man in oversized clothes,) and current mayor Bill Peduto, represented as a man in a Fred Flintstone mask who speaks solely in out-of-context political sound bytes.
After harassing the museum staff to their breaking point, they finally allow Bruce Wayne and Dave to meet Andy Warhol, a scraggily and wild-haired Yinzer who casually discusses all the cool stuff he makes and collects. This is not your parents’ Warhol, but a high-energy, intensely-chill, bro-esque Warhol who just wants to have a good time and look at some cool stuff. Warhol gives Wayne the insight needed to track the Youngstown Joker to his hidden lair underneath a local Sheetz.
In the final scene, Pittsburgh Batman goes head-to-head with the Youngstown Joker in an epic rap battle, taking place in the basement underneath Sheetz. While Pittsburgh Batman gets some serious digs in, the Youngstown Joker delivers a fatally-worded blow to the Dark Knight, causing him to become incapacitated.
It seems that all is lost. Pittsburgh Batman is but a mere thoroughly-insulted pile on the floor. When it seems as if the Youngstown Joker has won the battle, he basks in the triumph. Suddenly, from off stage, Warhol swaggers in, replaces the Joker’s microphone with a dildo, and delivers the most epically-worded Pittsburgh insults known to mankind.
With the Joker defeated, Pittsburgh Batman is revived and takes claim to his spoils: the leather-clad transvestite Catwoman, who mid-kiss adjusts her leather suit to conceal her anatomy.
The only thought going through my head at this point was “No. No, no, no!” Not because of anything wrong with the show, not because of any disagreement with anything said or done within the show itself. No, I was saying “no,” because I didn’t want it to end. I wish it had gone on for another two hours if it could. This show was so fresh in its comedy, so self-aware in its delivery, that I simply wanted to see more. I was very disappointed to have to leave after only about an hour, knowing that I’d have to wait an entire year before seeing it again.
My only true gripe with the production was with the sound quality. I believe the actors, mostly the secondary actors, did not realize how much they needed to annunciate their words for the patrons near the back to understand their dialogue. I would give this show 10 out of 10 if it were not for the inability to understand some of the lines. Because of that, my final rating of the overall production is a 9/10.
If this show rolls through again next year, make sure to grab your tickets early. It is a crazy, hilarious ride. Just, you know… leave the kids at home.
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